Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Pi Day

Yes, I am posting a food-related post not on a Friday. Still a Food Friday though. Because I said so. Kind of. Also, I wish it was Friday.

Happy 3.14159265359... day. Or also known as Pi Day. Because it is 3/14. Ha ha. Very cute. Math.

Now, as many of you may know, if you know me at all, that I do not make a habit of baking. While sometimes my cooking disasters turn out salvageable, my baking has had an atrocious legacy. Mostly cakes. They just do not turn out, or I am too impatient.

Exhibit A. Happy Birthday Breaky

BUT, one thing I do bake is apple pie. My Dad makes the best apple pies, and it has kind of become a tradition. My Dad is similar in kitchen styles to me, in that he kind of makes things up as he goes, and rarely uses a recipe. If he does, it is a complicated old family recipe, like the Julekakke at Christmas, or it is a recipe he created and wrote down to remember. I once asked him if he has his apple pie recipe so I can include it in our family recipe book. He said that he just uses the recipe from the box of Kraft Minute Tapioca. I look over at him, knowing full well he had modified it in some way. "What about the apple juice?" I ask. "Well, yeah, I guess I add that" he said. "And the extra crust?" "Well, that's just for fun." 

Two peas in a pod. 

So, I present the modified Kraft Minute Tapioca Apple Pie. (Original Recipe here)


  • 6 cups of thinly sliced peeled apples
  • 3/4 cup sugar (my Dad substitutes the appropriate amount of Splenda/Stevia to make it sugar-free-ish)
  • 2 Tbsp Minute Tapioca
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon (or as much as you think is right)
  • 1/4 ground nutmeg (I used just a little less)
  • 1 package ready-to-use refrigerated pie crust
  • Apple juice (just a few sprinkles)

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Peel and slice up your apples if you have not already

As you are tossing the apples in to a large mixing bowl, sprinkle a little apple juice into the mixture. This will prevent the apples from going brown super fast. Toss in the sugar, tapioca and spices as you go along. Mix together. 

Line the pie plate of your choice with one of the crusts (the package will have two). Read the directions on what ever pre-made crusts you have. Some will instruct you to poke holes with a fork along the bottom to prevent bubbling. 

Put the mixture in and cover with the remaining crust. Some crust may be left over over the sides. Cut that stuff off, toss it in sugar and cinnamon, put on a separate baking sheet. Cut slices/slits on the top of the pie crust to allow steam to escape. You may want to put a little melted butter or spray butter on the top, especially near the crusts to make a nice golden brown. I always add a little cinnamon to the top too. 

Put the pie and the baking sheet in. Take the extra pieces that are on the baking sheet out after about 10-15 minutes, and you have a fun little snack while you wait. 

The pie should bake for just about 40-50 minutes until the top is golden-ish brown or some of the juice is bubbling through. 

*Disclaimer, this recipe only makes one pie. I made two for today. So I doubled the recipe


Monday, March 6, 2017

Only When He Leaves

This sh*t (literally) only seems to happen when he is gone.

So, in case any of you did not know, Breaky is gone for a full week (and a few days) to cast the qualifiers for a Dota2 major event. I wrote two different blog posts (1 and 2) about what it is like to have a spouse who leaves all the time for events like this.

We have a pretty good system going regarding our day-to-day lives, both when he is here and when he is not. Ever since he went free-lance, it has been nice, as he takes DogCPK out for her first walk of the day before he starts streaming, and she can hang out with him while he streams. This means I can stay at work and have a working lunch. When he is gone, I go home during lunch, take her for a walk and then come home and take her for another one (or let her play outside on the lead... depending on how nice the weather is).

She needs to have at least one long-ish walk halfway through the day, or else our guard dog thinks she must protect us from scary things like, oh, cords, glasses, heels, carpet etc... So keeping her exercised is a very, very good idea. If I wrote about DogCPK's shenanigans, this blog would be more aptly called The Sometimes-Good-But-Sometimes-Naughty Geek Dog.

"Wanna play some Hearthstone? Let me sit between you and the laptop
That helps, right mom?"

But this crazy antic happened during my lunch walk and I couldn't help but write about it in my head, and it made me laugh out loud.

So. DogCPK was very happy to go for her walk today. Lots and lots of energy. Having had our dog for about a year, we know she usually is quite rambunctious right before she has to potty. Now if potty talk makes you uncomfortable, you might as well stop right there, because this story is about poo. Sorry (not really).

So, DogCPK is zooming back and forth, and I can tell a #2 is a-coming. So, as to expedite the process of doggy doo pick-up, because let's be honest, no one looks hot or sexy picking up dog crap, I get a baggie ready. She's doin' her bizznazz, and I notice that she's getting done, but there is some still kinda hanging on. I watch with eyes rolling as she darts away with not one, but two completely separate dingleberries stuck to her behind. One goes flying on to the other side of the sidewalk, as the other is still.... well.... stuck. She's hunching over, while still running around mind you, trying to get it out, all the while, I'm chasing after her with the bag trying to swipe it away.

Giving up, I pick up the two separate piles and get another bag, trying to get the berry swinging from her rafters as she is avoiding me like the plague. I don't blame her, I wouldn't want anything to do with a crazy lady with two bags that smell like my poo trying to touch my butt all while I have something stuck to my backdoor. Finally, she cowers over, and I am able to grab the once flying feces.

So now I have two bags of poo, a dog who is spooked out of her mind, and I am getting a third bag to put the other two in (because I have no idea how much, if any, poo got anywhere else), when, wouldn't my luck just have it, two joggers came flying by. I am trying to juggle the now Matryoshka doll of doggy poo-bags, with my dog making circles around my legs, while I get tangled with the leash causing me to  do this weird kind of curtsy to the nice gentleman who passed by.

Sorry gentlemen, I am taken.... because you all know I was 10 kinds of sexy right there.

Of course, this all happened on a pretty busy residential street near where we live, so I am sure as we speak someone is getting a huge number of views or likes on whatever they could record of my very sexy little dance I had to do with my dog. Because that's my luck.

The rest of the walk was uneventful. Well, except for her horrendous bark/whimpers she does when she sees another dog and wants to play. You think, if you heard her, that we were torturing her. No, DogCPK, we will not let you cross a busy intersection to play with a Dalmatian who looks like he would rather not have anything to do with you. And I swear, nice looking Dalmatian owner, I am not hurting my freaking-out-dog, she just wants to play. *facepalm*

 Who's a good girl? YES, YOU ARE!

Do I miss Breaky? Yes. He is a wonderful husband and a great Dad to our dog. I miss him greatly because he is also my best friend. But I am looking forward to the day that I will not have to wash my hands 80 times when I get back from my walks because miss-poos a lot can't seem to figure out how to poop correctly. 

Disclaimer: I love my dog very, very much and I know this was not her fault. How could I stay mad at this face: