Thursday, July 20, 2017


Today, when I found out that Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, passed away, I said "I have no words. I really don't."

Well, I have found words.

If you follow my blog, you know music has always been a big part of my life. My Dad was a choir teacher for 35 years. College is where I really start to find great new music. I even did a blog post about Billy Talent, who helped shape my early adulthood. In that blog post, I allude to my roommate and my ex-boyfriend introducing me into the type of music I have embraced as the kind of music I now enjoy the most. A big part of that, was obviously Billy Talent but the other big pieces were Evanescence and Linkin Park.

Many adults today can attest that Linkin Park was the soundtrack of their teen and early adult life. I had to stop reading the comments on the Reddit post made, not because of the trolls, but because of how many people were able to verbalize how important his music was a part of their growing up.

Breaky and I went to Blizzcon where they performed and it was something special to share as we both loved the band. It was Breaky's first concert, and he had a blast. The band's music was one thing of many that we connected over while first dating. That concert was special then, and means even more now.

I admired the band for creating the music they wanted to. They changed, shifted, and molded their "style" of music, and lately had caught some flack for it. I honestly enjoyed the new music for reasons different than why I enjoyed their original music. 

I rarely cry when I find out celebrities have passed. Many times I will be sad, and feel bad for friends and family, but I rarely cry. I was an absolute mess at work when I found out that Chester not only passed away, but took his own life. I had to close my door as my eyes got puffy and my snot was creating problems for my appearance.

Knowing that Chester committed suicide, the song "Heavy" really hits home.

We may never know why Chester took his own life.

It breaks my heart every time I hear that someone was so lost in their own mind that they think the only way to stop it is to end their life. I've seen reactions of suicides bordering on anger and blame, and I get it. Suicide is a very personal thing, and friends and family are left behind. You have to understand, many people who are that desperate truly believe their loved ones will be better off without them.

Depression messes with your head and logic is warped severely. Depression lies to you.

If you are struggling, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek help. Call 1-800-273-8255 or go to to chat with someone online.