My Pocket Mom-Friends

I am a part of a Mom group....

On Facebook nonetheless.

It started out as a subreddit group for pregnant women who were all due around the same time. We created a Facebook group, as a lot of the functionalities of Facebook were different. Most importantly, the option to make the group private, so we can be a little more comfortable posting pictures and details about our pregnancies and babies (when they came) without the fear of creepy-reddittor-creeping that sometimes happens on, well, Reddit.*

*Disclaimer: I love Reddit. Still do. I am on it every day. Put down your damn pitchforks and keep reading my obviously hilarious and insightful blog post.*

What made this group different at first than the 5 other Mom groups I had been invited to, was how close we all were to the same timeline. When pregnant, if I had weird symptoms, instead of Dr. Google, or the probably safer Nurse Line, I would hop on my "bumpers" group to see if anyone else was going through the same thing. Often times I didn't even have to actively look, it was like they knew what I was going through and posted about it too.

This went on after we had babies and agreed to keep the group together. Weird skin rash thing? Totally glad someone posted, because I had a similar question/problem. Worried about baby-led weaning? No worries, there is a post from yesterday to get others' opinions. Venting about how it feels that we will never sleep a full 6 hours ever again? Yup, you have a sister in the same boat.

This group honestly has saved me SO much grief and worry.

Which is saying something.

What makes this group different from the other Mom groups that people complain about, is how on the same page we are with our general parenting styles. I'm sure this grew organically. Those who didn't feel the same way as we do slowly leaving the group. And I don't mean just different opinions on sleep styles or how we feed our kids, I'm talking the evidence-based discussions and open-forum ways we can come to conclusions as to what is best for our kiddos.

In many other Mom groups, I have to worry about reading a controversial post about vaccinations or MLM spam posts. Not in my group. We actually think the posts on the subreddit /r/shitmomgroupssay are HILARIOUS. Mostly because we all belong to other groups and this stuff is SO TRUE.

Y'all, this group is so tight, we are exchanging Christmas cards and did a Secret Santa (which, my giftee either hated what I got or I forgot to put whom it was from, so sorry either way! :/ I feel really bad)

It is amazing having so many Christmas and Holiday cards up on our wall. It really helps the holiday spirit, for sure.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. These ladies are my village. I am not like, super duper active when it comes to posting, but man, I do check daily. How else would I know about this amazing wizard hair tool that everyone claims can do magic. PS I added this to my "Christmas List", do you think Santa will think I was good enough to get one this year?

I saw this bit in our group and just had to include this in my blog about my "bumper" group:

This sentiment can be for your online gaming groups, your chat-room friends,  your friends you chat with every day online but haven't actually met. These friendships are real, and important. My pocket friends are all moms of kids around my child's age. We share stories, frustrations, fears, joys, announcements, passions and tears. Oh hey, look, I rhymed.


I try to tell all my now-pregnant friends to see if Reddit has a bumper group for them, worried, however, that their experience will not be as absolutely fantastic as mine, because, let's face it, this group is absolutely amazing.

"So, WifecCPK, what is the point of this blog?" you may ask with a shout! "My Mom group saved my sanity, without a speck of doubt."

Letter to my Daughter

I wrote this letter on International Women's Day, during a rare respite between my daughter's feedings and changings.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dearest Daughter,

Today is International Women's Day and you are 8 days old.

When I look at you, I am full of worry, and wonder, and optimism about how you will grow up and how the world will treat you. Right now, you are zonked out cold in your sleeper, right next to me and your father, who is also napping. You may be dreaming, and I hope that continues. I dream daily that the world will be just a little bit better by the time you try to make those dreams a reality.

Sometimes I fear the world you were born in to. Politics, terror, racism, gender inequality, there are so many things that keep me up at night. Things that when I was growing up, shaped my life perhaps in a different direction. Don't get me wrong, I love where I ended up. My parents did an amazing job raising me, I married the love of my life, have a decent job, a wonderful education and now I have you.

However, my hope is you will have more opportunities than I ever did to make your life exactly how you want it to be.

I am encouraged by the movements I've been seeing today and despite the grim reality that sometimes we live in, it is the good people that you see fighting for what they believe in that we need to look to. I hope that your father and I have it in us to raise you to be one of those people.

You are surrounded by so many female friends and family who are fantastic role models to help you achieve what ever goals and dreams you set for yourself. While I have unreasonable expectations as to what wonderous mountains you will move, ultimately, what goals and dreams you decide to chase are yours and yours alone.

What I can hope for and try to teach you, is to be good to people. And I do not mean just making sure you smile at the lady at the Starbucks counter. I mean, open, bleeding heart caring for people you do not know and a resounding love and open affection for those that you do know.

As your great Aunt would say (and still does) "Nice Matters"

Right now, the world is not nice. This includes the world your father has a career in. My unrealistic expectation is that by the time you are grown up, those kinds of people that make things toxic, especially for women, will be long gone and you can choose what kind of career and goals and wishes you want.

What I am trying to say in all my ramblings is that, even if the world is just as toxic as it is now, my hope is that you will grow up to be a caring, selfless, strong, independent, strong-willed woman like the women in your family that came before you.


Love you forever,

Your Mother

Player 3 has Entered the Game

BabyCPK entered this world at about 11:22 am on February 28th. 7 pounds 6 ounces, 20.25 inches long

Short and ungory birth details

We had arrived at the hospital at about 8am on the 27th for an induction, spent 28 hours in the labor and delivery room, and about 18 hours of active labor. I ended up trying for an epidural, which helped with contractions, but was placed too high, so I felt all of the delivery, which I didn't know I wasn't supposed to.

 

BabyCPK rocking her first onesie. She gets cranky when changed, so this is the best we could do 

Breaky was and is an absolutely amazing partner and husband. More than I could have ever even dreamed of. Supportive for every contraction, cutting the cord, taking care of the baby in the recovery room once she was here so I could get some sleep.

He is already a fantastic father! <3 

This baby girl takes after her father, in the way that she has the vocal cords to let everyone know she is awake a HYPED. Or, you know, hungry and cranky. All the same thing right? 

New gaming shirt? Will BabyCPK make a stream appearance or two? Who's hyped? 

Hello world! It's ME. 

Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes, the flowers, the presents, the food, the visits, the help. We love you all and appreciate every single one of you. If we forgot to say something directly to you, it is probably because we are blissfully sleep deprived.